Ever felt a compulsion to be there for someone completely, in process neglecting ones own self?
Ever been a 4am friend?
Has your world ever revolved around just some one?
Its good to be nice but niceness can also be a symptom. It has proved right for some. Quite an idealized image they have but what purpose does it serve?
Nothing.
But , one it Corrodes , two it erodes and three its distressing.
Niceness is often confused with selfishness and fakeness but there is another dimension to it - which is pathology, which not everyone can perceive.
It’s a characteristic bipolarity, to be always on the extreme end of the continuum, ambivalence missing.
Giving just not what’s more than required but what’s beyond ones capacity, eventually draining oneself.
Self love replaced entirely by object love.
Desire to be love and held is projected and so much so that one feels enmeshed/ the part of the other, losing ones own identity.
Identity of the other becomes the identity of the self completely destroying the subjectivity and individuality of the person.
Evidences are too meager to be noticed to interpret, though right in front of you.
Led by insecurities, in order to prove wrong as right, the unconscious guides you on a path unknown.
Where sanity is left somewhere behind and with each act, one walks one step closer to insanity.
Search for truth, know not whose? Truth of/about oneself or truth of/about the other which apparently is assumed to be same. Path unknown and only of miseries, impossible to fathom meaning, yet all attempts directed towards comprehending meaning. Know not what?
Rationalization at bay, defenses dormant.
It’s all unconscious play,
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